The Mustachioed Gentleman’s Brown Rice

For the fastidious gentleman who temperately enjoys pioneering his own way through the kitchen, the Mustachioed Gentleman’s Brown Rice is an ideal meal for those aspiring for a graceful yet rugged sprezzatura. An ideal gustatory pleasure for cool mornings, the Mustachioed Gentleman’s Brown Rice embraces the virtues of convenience and nonchalance yet eschews culinary dandyism.

Ingredients:

125g Long grain white rice

3-4 Black tea bags

A heaping spoonful of Nutella

Two pinches of salt

2-3 strawberries

Directions

Place the rice into a pot, taking care to pour rather than dump it in. Fill the pot with water up to about two inches above the level of the rice. Boil until the rice has begun to take on a pleasing puffiness. Add the tea bags, but be sure not to put the tea bag labels in with them. When the rice has come to full puffiness, let the rice sit in the water (turn off the burner) until it becomes pleasantly reminiscent of the brown of the Indian Pore Leaved Bauhinia’s branches. Once the rice is finished, put it in a bowl or in the tupperware of your choice. Add the spoonful of Nutella, and stir until the warm brown of the Nutella blends completely with the rice. Add a pinch of salt. Stir. Add another pinch of salt. Take the strawberries and slice them reasonably so as to ensure that the sizes of the slices does not contrast too greatly with the texture of the rice, so that one maximizes one’s digestive efficiency. Refrigerate. Eat on a cool morning, with the rice preferably re-stirred by a manservant named Hoppwith.

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